There are friends with a little "f" and friends with a big "F."  The first is a large group with sloppy admission standards, the other an elite and time-tested crew.

A little "f" friend: Identifies themselves when they call.
A big "F" Friend: Doesn't have to.



A Little "f" Friend: Opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on their life.
A Big "F" Friend: says: "What's new with you?"



A Little "f" Friend: Thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A Big "F" Friend: says: "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years.  Get off your duff and do something about it."



A Little "f" Friend: Has never seen you cry.
A Big "F" Friend: Has shoulders soggy from your tears.



A Little "f" Friend: Doesn't know your parent's first names.
A Big "F" Friend: Has your parent's phone numbers in they're address book.



A Little "f" Friend: Knows almost nothing about your family.
A Big "F" Friend: Knows the medical history, dietary habits and marital troubles of everyone on your tree.



A Little "f" Friend: Brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A Big "F" Friend: Comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.



A Little "f" Friend: Calls you at 10 p.m. just to chat.
A Big "F" Friend: Knows you hate to be called after 9 p.m.



A Little "f" Friend: Wonders about your romantic history.
A Big "F" Friend: Could blackmail you with it!



A Little "f" Friend: When visiting, they act like a guest.
A Big "F" Friend: When visiting, they open your refrigerator, put they're feet on the sofa, talks back to your spouse and reprimands your children.



A Little "f" Friend: Thinks the friendship is over when you argue.
A Big "F" Friend: Knows that a friendship's not a friendship until you've had a fight.